Hi everyone! Hope the start of your week is off to a great start.
So I have some big news. Well, it’s big for me at least.
We split up.
It just wasn’t working out. I was in it for all of the wrong reasons. I was giving more love than I was receiving.
Yes my friends, I did it. I broke up with running.
After another major revelation this weekend, I came to understand that cutting back is not working and will not work for me. I talked with Toly about it for awhile and he made me realize that, like most things in my life, I pour so much passion into what I am doing but some of these things are not healthy. Running became an unhealthy obsession, one that I don’t even do anymore because I love it, but because I feel that I have to.
Since I seem to only do things “all or nothing”, that is the only approach that I know will work to break this. Nothing. At least for awhile or until I can reach the point when I know I won’t be able to go back. It’s not going to be easy and I know it will take a long time until I reach that level where I want to be, but just how I could never go back to controlling my distorted relationship with food knowing what I know how, the same thing will come out of this. Once I reach my “healthy tipping point” with running, I won’t be able to go back to the dark side of it.
So what will I do now?
I’ll walk it off which is exactly what I did today. Rather than wake up and run 10 miles, I slept in a little longer and walked 3 miles this morning. Not gonna lie, it wasn’t easy, but I did it. So my routine is going to change a bit and I’m 100% okay with that. I’ll continue to teach spin classes 2-3 times a week, I’ll replace all running with incline walking, I’ll be doing more routined and structured strength workouts 2-3 times a week.
So running, it’s not forever. I’ll bring you back into my life one day, but for now, you’ve got to go.
I replenished my Chobani stash this weekend and craved a yogurt bowl this morning. I don’t usually eat the raspberry and I’m not really sure why because I really do adore the flavor.
Amongst having to be here and there and everywhere in between, I had an hour to stop for lunch. I met my brother-in-law for lunch today, as it’s been so long since him and I had a chance to spend some time together.
We met at Wegmans and loaded up on the salad bar.
I don’t even want to admit how much this cost me.
Or the drink that costs more than a beer….
<Sigh> The price of a healthy delicious meal.
It was so great to spend some time with my brother-in-law. We had a great chat and then I was off to finish out the rest of my day.
No surprise, this lunch left me stuffed to the gills. I guess that is what happens when you load up on every single quinoa salad (they had 7 different kinds) and a massive amount of roasted veggies.
I originally planned to make more veggies for dinner but couldn’t imagine the thought.
I settled for some common ground in Butternut Squash and Pear Soup.
This was a box of Pacific Organic Butternut Squash Soup that I doctored up with pear, cinnamon, and fresh basil. After I purred everything together, I let it simmer on the stove for a few minutes. Topped with yogurt and walnuts….quite delicious!
Served with a slice of sweet potato bread. This is not my creation but from the bread co-op I belong to. Probably the best thing I could ever have gotten myself into even though I am knee deep in bread. Not a bad thing.
In other news….look at what I finally found today!
They are just as good as everyone said they were.
Well it’s been a wonderful fresh start today. I’m ready for this new phase and I’m embracing how it will change me, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I feel stronger already just knowing that I’m capable of doing what I know is right but takes all that I have in me to go through with it.
So running….I’m just not that into you.
Have you ever let go of something that became a part of your identity? The hardest part of letting go of most things that we hold on to is not the fear of changing, it’s the fear of letting go of who we thought we were.